Austin City Limits

S44 E4404 | FULL EPISODE

Brandi Carlile

Enjoy an unforgettable hour with acclaimed artist Brandi Carlile. The Seattle singer/songwriter performs highlights from her critically lauded album By the Way, I Forgive You.

AIRED: October 27, 2018 | 0:54:11
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TRANSCRIPT

-"Austin City Limits" presents a full hour with

Americana singer/songwriter Brandi Carlile.

♪♪

-♪ He was a liar, but not a fraud ♪

♪ Living proof that there was no God ♪

♪ Just the Devil, stiff as a rod ♪

♪ A slave to a sugartooth

♪ Can I blend in with your kind? ♪

♪ I need you to liberate me

♪ You the masses educate me

♪ Hold my fist into the air

♪ Declare a social victory

♪ You can own me, you control me ♪

♪ Individuality has never stood a chance against you ♪

♪ Jump into the mainstream

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-Welcome, everybody, to "Austin City Limits."

[ Cheering and applause ]

-Now, here's Brandi Carlile.

-♪ A love song was playing on the radio ♪

♪ It made me kind of sad because it made me think of you ♪

♪ And I wonder how you're doing ♪

♪ But I wish I didn't care

♪ Because I gave you all I had

♪ And got the worst of you

♪ By the way

♪ I forgive you

♪ After all

♪ Maybe I should thank you

♪ For giving me what I've found ♪

♪ 'Cause without you around

♪ I've been doing just fine

♪ Except for any time I hear that song ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪♪

♪ Didn't it break your heart

♪ When you watched my smile fading ♪

♪ Did it ever cross your mind

♪ That one day the tables would be turned ♪

♪ They told me the best revenge ♪

♪ Would be a life well lived ♪

♪ And the strongest one that holds ♪

♪ Would be the hardest one to earn ♪

♪ By the way

♪ I forgive you

♪ After all

♪ Maybe I should thank you

♪ For giving me what I've found ♪

♪ 'Cause without you around

♪ I've been doing just fine

♪ Except for any time I hear that song ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Oh, any time I hear that song ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪♪

♪ When I woke up in the morning ♪

♪ I was choking on some words

♪ There were things unsaid between us ♪

♪ There were things you never told ♪

♪ That's twice you broke my heart now ♪

♪ The first was way back when ♪

♪ And to know you're still unhappy ♪

♪ Only makes it break again

♪ By the way

♪ I forgive you

♪ After all

♪ Maybe I should thank you

♪ For giving me what I've found ♪

♪ 'Cause without you around

♪ I've been doing just fine

♪ By the way

♪ I forgive you

♪ I never will

♪ Never will forget you

♪ For giving me what I've found ♪

♪ 'Cause without you around

♪ I've been doing just fine

♪ Except for any time I hear that song ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Oh, any time I hear that song ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Oh, any time I hear that song ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, yeah

[ Cheering and applause ]

Thank you.

This is a song for anybody that feels

unloved or unaccepted,

or unnatural, or illegal.

We have seen how it ends.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ You're feeling nervous, aren't you, boy? ♪

♪ With your quiet voice and impeccable style ♪

♪ Don't ever let them steal your joy ♪

♪ And your gentle ways

♪ To keep 'em from running wild ♪

♪ They can kick dirt in your face ♪

♪ Dress you down and tell you that your place ♪

♪ Is in the middle

♪ When they hate the way you shine ♪

♪ I see you tugging on your shirt ♪

♪ Trying to hide inside of it

♪ And hide how much it hurts

♪ You let 'em live while they can ♪

♪ Let 'em spin

♪ Let 'em scatter in the wind

♪ I have been to the movies

♪ I've seen how it ends

♪ And the joke's on them

♪ Yeah!

♪♪

♪ You get discouraged, don't you, girl? ♪

♪ It's your brother's world for a while longer ♪

♪ We gotta dance with the devil on a river ♪

♪ To beat the stream

♪ Call it living the dream

♪ Call it kicking the ladder ♪

♪ They come to kick dirt in your face ♪

♪ To call you weak and then displace you ♪

♪ After carrying your baby on your back across the desert ♪

♪ I saw your eyes behind your hair ♪

♪ And you're looking tired

♪ But you don't look scared

♪ You let 'em live while they can ♪

♪ Let 'em spin

♪ Let 'em scatter in the wind ♪

♪ I have been to the movies

♪ I've seen how it ends

♪ And the joke's on them

♪♪

♪ Let 'em live while they can ♪

♪ Let 'em spin

♪ Let 'em scatter in the wind ♪

♪ I have been to the movies

♪ I've seen how it ends

♪ And the joke's on

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪ Them

♪♪

[ Vocalizing ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

The thing is, everybody's somebody's baby, y'know?

♪♪

That's the thing you learn when you become a parent.

♪♪

It kind of makes you think that, uh,

maybe there's no such thing as, like, "just a junkie."

♪♪

♪ He wasn't really known for breaking the rules ♪

♪ When he arrived in the second year of my high school ♪

♪ He wasn't so much of a twist of fate ♪

♪ As a short turn up from a Southern state ♪

♪ He was born with a sweet tooth he couldn't beat ♪

♪ Always trying to find himself something sweet ♪

♪ All that he found was a trouble and me ♪

♪ Or maybe trouble just found him ♪

♪ It was hard to hide that his heart had scars ♪

♪ He would stay up late talking to the stars ♪

♪ People tried to blame him for making bad choices ♪

♪ When he was only listening to the voices ♪

♪ And searching for some kind of deeper truth ♪

♪ Between the lines and the Bible and living proof ♪

♪ There's no point now to judge him in vain ♪

♪ If you haven't been there, you don't know the pain ♪

♪♪

♪ He was a liar, but not a fraud ♪

♪ Living proof that there was no God ♪

♪ Just the Devil, stiff as a rod ♪

♪ A slave to a sugartooth

♪ Yeah

♪ His life became more than he could take ♪

♪ He found a bad habit he couldn't break ♪

♪ Nothing could tame him and nothing could hold him ♪

♪ He only took the pills when the doctor told him ♪

♪ Looking to help for the something sweet ♪

♪ To make his life feel less incomplete ♪

♪ What in the hell are you gonna do ♪

♪ When the world has made its mind up about you? ♪

♪♪

♪ He was a liar, but not a fraud ♪

♪ Living proof that there was no God ♪

♪ Just the Devil, stiff as a rod ♪

♪ A slave to a sugartooth

♪ He wanted to be a better man ♪

♪ Then life kicked him down like an old tin can ♪

♪ He would give you the shirt on his back ♪

♪ If not for a sugartooth

♪ They found him lying on his bed ♪

♪ With a gun in his hand and a quiet head ♪

♪ His broken heart, now, is finally gone ♪

♪ But I know that he had to hurt for too long ♪

♪ To think he had fought it all on his own ♪

♪ Just to lose the battle and die alone ♪

♪ After so many years of feeling lost ♪

♪ He finally made his way back home ♪

♪ And I heard they put what was left in a box ♪

♪ And took it to a place called Jesus Rock ♪

♪ And scattered him all over jagged mound ♪

♪ As a symbol to all that the peace had been found ♪

♪ But not for a sign is left behind ♪

♪ With a hand stuck reaching back in time ♪

♪ To a place in which you can never unwind ♪

♪ I hope he found something so sweet ♪

♪ He was a liar, but not a fraud ♪

♪ Living proof that there was no God ♪

♪ Just the Devil, stiff as a rod ♪

♪ A slave to a sugartooth

♪ He wanted to be a better man ♪

♪ But life kicked him down like an old tin can ♪

♪ He would give you the shirt on his back ♪

♪ If not for a sugartooth

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ A slave to a sugartooth ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ A slave to a sugartooth ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ A slave to a sugartooth

♪ Ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh

♪ A slave to a sugartooth ♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

Oh!

[ Cheering and applause ]

That was my daughter, Evangeline.

[ Cheering and applause ]

She flew out here to meet me yesterday.

We have a rule where it's like, if Mama's working,

it doesn't matter what's going on,

she can come on stage and get a kiss.

Takes me by surprise sometimes, but...

♪♪

She's amazing.

She is about to be four in June.

And she's my first-born.

I just had another daughter, Elijah, a couple weeks ago.

[ Applause ]

Yeah, couple baby girls.

Lot of girls in my family, 'cause I also have a wife.

[ Cheering and applause ]

I feel... Thank you.

I feel that it's important to stand before you

in the great state of Texas and tell you about my family

and our right to exist in the world today.

[ Cheering and applause ]

And I should also be pretty honest with you and tell you

that becoming a mother was not easy for me.

I thought it was gonna be easy,

and I got told by a lot of folks it was gonna be easy.

Um, moms and dads -- gay moms, gay dads,

straight moms and straight dads,

that, you know, "You're gonna be in the delivery room,

this baby's gonna come out,

and you're going to feel a tidal wave of love --

instinct, understanding,

it's just gonna be this natural shift."

And I was waiting for it -- I'm in the delivery room,

and I'm waiting, and the baby is coming out,

and I was like -- [Gasps]

"God, I feel nothing!"

[ Laughter ]

Which just blossomed into several months of shame.

[ Laughter ]

Only once I started talking about the fact that

becoming a parent wasn't an easy thing for me initially,

and that I really had to earn my love for Evangeline,

did all these other parents go, "Oh, yeah, me too.

Yeah, definitely.

The thing I said to you before

was the thing we say to each other,

but it's not, it's not. Just...

give it some thought."

So, I was like, "Well, you know what?

I mean, I'm a songwriter,

and I feel like I'm going to tell the truth about this

right now, so, in case you're wondering...

about having kids or what it feels like,

it can feel like anything that you want it to --

you will earn your love for your child in due time,

whether you're a mom or a dad, or a gay mom or a gay dad,

or a trans mom or a trans dad.

[ Cheering and applause ]

But this is about my sweet Evangeline.

♪♪

And all the things she took from me.

♪♪

♪ Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind ♪

♪ You're tethered to another and you're worried all the time ♪

♪ You always know the melody but you never heard it rhyme ♪

♪♪

♪ She's fair and she is quiet

♪ Lord, she doesn't look like me ♪

♪ She made me love the morning

♪ She's a holiday at sea

♪ The New York streets are as busy ♪

♪ As they always used to be

♪ But I am the mother of Evangeline ♪

♪♪

♪ The first things that she took from me ♪

♪ Were selfishness and sleep ♪

♪ She broke a thousand heirlooms ♪

♪ I was never meant to keep

♪ She filled my life with color, canceled plans ♪

♪ And trashed my car

♪ But none of that was ever who we are ♪

♪ Outside of my windows are the mountains and the snow ♪

♪ I hold you while you're sleeping ♪

♪ And I wish that I could go

♪ All my rowdy friends are out accomplishing their dreams ♪

♪ But I am the mother of Evangeline ♪

♪♪

♪ And they've still got their morning paper and their coffee ♪

♪ And their time

♪ And they still enjoy their evenings ♪

♪ With the skeptics and the wine ♪

♪ Oh, but all the wonders I have seen ♪

♪ I will see a second time

♪ From inside of the ages through your eyes ♪

♪ You are not some accident

♪ Where no one thought it through ♪

♪ The world has stood against us ♪

♪ Made us mean to fight for you ♪

♪ And when we chose your name we knew ♪

♪ That you'd fight the power too ♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪ You're nothing short of magical and beautiful to me ♪

♪ Oh, I'll never hit the big time ♪

♪ Without you

♪ So they can keep their treasure ♪

♪ And their ties to the machine ♪

♪ 'Cause I am the mother of Evangeline ♪

♪♪

♪ They can keep their treasure

♪ And their ties to the machine ♪

♪ Yeah, that's right

♪ I am the mother of Evangeline ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Audience clapping in time ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I'm gonna to fit in

♪ I'm on the list, I'm gonna to get in ♪

♪ Haven't you heard, and don't you know who I am ♪

♪ I'm with the Joneses, I'm their best friend ♪

♪ I came to saturate the market ♪

♪ To perpetuate the hip kid

♪ I was born so I could fall in line ♪

♪ I'm a legend in my own mind ♪

♪ Can I blend in with your kind? ♪

♪ I need you to liberate me

♪ You the masses educate me

♪ Hold my fist into the air

♪ Declare a social victory

♪ You can own me, you control me ♪

♪ Individuality has never stood a chance against you ♪

♪ Jump into the mainstream, yeah ♪

♪♪

♪ Your revolution

♪ Gets in the way of my confusion ♪

♪ I need someone to tell me who I am ♪

♪ Because I'm under this illusion ♪

♪ I came to separate the classes ♪

♪ To place the fails above the passes ♪

♪ There has never been a better time ♪

♪ To set the bar beneath the masses ♪

♪ Can I blend in with your kind? ♪

♪ I need you to liberate me

♪ You the masses educate me

♪ Hold my fist into the air

♪ Declare a social victory

♪ You can own me, you control me ♪

♪ Individuality has never stood a chance against you ♪

♪ Jump into the mainstream, yeah ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪♪

♪ I need you to liberate me

♪ You the masses educate me

♪ Hold my fist into the air

♪ Declare a social victory

♪ You can own me, you control me ♪

♪ Individuality has never stood a chance against you ♪

♪ Jump into the mainstream

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Your revolution

♪ Into the mainstream, kid

♪ Your revolution

♪ Into the mainstream

♪ Your revolution

♪ Into the mainstream, yeah ♪

♪ Your revolution

♪ Into the mainstream, yeah ♪

♪ Jump into the mainstream, kid ♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

We're gonna sing you a song about your first love.

[ Scattered cheers and applause ]

Your first love is your parents.

Doesn't matter what happened after that,

doesn't matter what they did to you.

[ Laughter ]

They are your first love -- like 'em or not.

And, uh, if your parents are still alive,

don't forget to tell 'em that you love 'em.

And if your parents are not still alive,

don't forget to tell 'em that you love 'em.

[ Scattered cheering and applause ]

♪♪

♪ Mmm, all right

♪♪

♪ I haven't seen my father in some time ♪

♪ But his face is always staring back at me ♪

♪ His heavy hands hang from the ends of my arms ♪

♪ And my colors change like the sea ♪

♪ But I don't worry much about time lost ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm not gunning for the dreams I couldn't find ♪

♪ He taught me how to walk the best that I can ♪

♪ On the road I've left behind

♪ But most of all

♪ He taught me to forgive

♪ How to keep a cool head

♪ How to love the one you're with ♪

♪ And when I'm far into the distance ♪

♪ And the pushing comes to shove ♪

♪ To remember what comes back ♪

♪ When you give away your love ♪

♪ Give away your love

♪ When you give your love away ♪

♪ Give away your love

♪♪

♪ I haven't heard my mother's voice in a while ♪

♪ But her words are always falling out my mouth ♪

♪ My mind and spirit are at odds sometimes ♪

♪ And they fight like the North and the South ♪

♪ But I still care enough to bear the weight ♪

♪ Of the heaviness to which my heart is tethered ♪

♪ She taught me how to be strong and say goodbye ♪

♪ And that love is forever

♪ But most of all

♪ She taught me how to fight

♪ How to move across the line

♪ Between the wrong and the right ♪

♪ And when I'm turned out in the darkness ♪

♪ And the pushing comes to shove ♪

♪ To remember what comes back

♪ When you give away your love ♪

♪ Give away your love

♪ When you give your love away

♪ Give away your love

♪ Give your love away ♪

♪ Oh, give your love away

♪ And remember what comes back to you ♪

♪ Give your love away

♪ Oh, give your love away

♪ And remember what comes back to you ♪

♪♪

♪ I haven't seen my father in some time ♪

♪ But his face is always staring back at me ♪

♪ His heavy hands swing from the ends of my arms ♪

♪ And my colors change like the sea ♪

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I can see

♪ Very well

♪ There's a boat on the reef with a broken back ♪

♪ And I can see it very well ♪

♪♪

♪ There's a joke

♪ And I know it very well ♪

♪ It's one of those that I told you long ago ♪

♪ Take my word I'm a madman, don't you know ♪

♪♪

♪ Once a fool had a good part in the play ♪

♪ If it's so would I still be here today? ♪

♪ It's quite peculiar in a funny sort of way ♪

♪ They think it's very funny everything I say ♪

♪ Get a load of him, he's so insane ♪

♪ You'd better get your coat, dear ♪

♪ It looks like rain

♪ We'll come again next Thursday afternoon ♪

♪ The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon ♪

♪ But is it in your conscience ♪

♪ That you're after

♪ Another glimpse of the madman across the water ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I can see

♪ Very well

♪ There's a boat on the reef with a broken back ♪

♪ And I can see it very well ♪

♪♪

♪ There's a joke

♪ And I know it very well ♪

♪ It's one of those that I told you long ago ♪

♪ Take my word, I'm a madman, don't you know ♪

♪ The ground's a long way down but I need more ♪

♪ Is the nightmare black or are the windows painted? ♪

♪ And will they come again next week? ♪

♪ Can my mind really take it?

♪ We'll come again next Thursday afternoon ♪

♪ The in-laws hope they'll see you very soon ♪

♪ But is it in your conscience that you're after ♪

♪ Another glimpse of the madman across the water ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

Are you havin' a good time?!

[ Cheering and applause ]

I'll tell you one thing about this next song,

this song was a bitch to write,

it's a bitch to sing,

and, uh, if you haven't said this

to somebody in your life yet,

chances are you need to, STAT.

♪ Hey

♪ If I don't owe you a favor, you don't know me ♪

♪ I don't believe we've ever even met ♪

♪ If there's a God in heaven, you can show me ♪

♪ Then I guess I should admit I lost the bet ♪

♪ There are moments I could hold you forever ♪

♪ And there are moments that lasted way too long ♪

♪ And there are days when I change with the weather ♪

♪ To hold you in place would be wrong ♪

♪ There's a road left behind me that I'd rather not speak of ♪

♪ And a hard one ahead of me, too ♪

♪ I love you, whatever you do ♪

♪ But I got a life to live, too ♪

♪♪

♪ I never met a morning I could get through ♪

♪ With nothing on my breath to hold the night ♪

♪ And I never said I'm sorry, but I meant to ♪

♪ I never met a coward I don't like ♪

♪ There are reasons why a body stays in motion ♪

♪ But at the moment, only demons come to mind ♪

♪ There are days when I could walk into the ocean ♪

♪ With no one else but you to leave behind ♪

♪♪

♪ There's a road left behind me that I'd rather not speak of ♪

♪ And a hard one ahead of me, too ♪

♪ I love you, whatever you do ♪

♪ But I got a life to live, too ♪

♪ There's a road left behind me that I'd rather not speak of ♪

♪ And a hard one ahead of me, too ♪

♪ I love you, whatever you do ♪

♪ But I got a life to live, too ♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Vocalizing ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

[ Playing piano, vocalizing ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Waiter, send this to the table ♪

♪ The party of one

♪ The only other lonely soul in this place ♪

♪ And so you're finishing up your coffee ♪

♪ But then where you're gonna run? ♪

♪ Where'd you get that look on your face? ♪

♪ You should always let the sun go down on your anger ♪

♪ Let it burn you to sleep

♪ And bring it closer to danger ♪

♪ To surrender and retreat

♪ Sing your sad soul to sleep

♪ I loved you the first time I saw you ♪

♪ And you know I love you still ♪

♪ I am tired

♪ But I am yours

♪ Don't even think about your freedom ♪

♪ Or taking that flight

♪ Or going back upon your promise ♪

♪ After fighting for the right ♪

♪ Because your eggshells and your right statements ♪

♪ And your weaponized words

♪ Are paper tigers now

♪ Oh, your constant over-thinking ♪

♪ And your secretive drinking

♪ Are making you more and more alone ♪

♪ Girl, you can slam the door behind you ♪

♪ It ain't ever gonna close

♪ Because when you're home, you're already home ♪

♪ I am tired...

♪ I am tired

♪ I don't wanna go home anymore ♪

♪ I don't wanna throw stones anymore ♪

♪ I don't wanna take part in the war ♪

♪♪

♪ I loved you the first time I saw you ♪

♪ And you know I love you still ♪

♪ I loved you the first time I saw you ♪

♪ And you know I love you still ♪

♪♪

♪ I don't wanna be right anymore ♪

♪ Lord, I don't wanna fight anymore ♪

♪ I'm not taking your side anymore ♪

♪ I am tired

♪ I am not my own

♪ And I am leaving

♪ Oh, I am tired

♪ But I'm coming home

♪ 'Cause I am yours

♪ I am yours, I am yours, I am yours, I am yours ♪

♪♪

♪ I am yours, I am yours,

♪ I am yours, I am yours, I am yours ♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

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♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Cheering and applause ]

♪ By the way

♪ I forgive you

♪ I never will

♪ Never will forget you

♪ For giving me what I've found ♪

♪ 'Cause without you around

♪ I've been doing just fine

♪ Except for any time I hear that song ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Oh, any time I hear that song ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Oh, any time I hear that song ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Oh, oh

♪♪

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